A simple way to warm a relationship

Kathy knew Calvin had a bad day. He walked in with his usual paint splattered overalls and held his lips tight. He stared down at the entrance hall tiles, shaking his head:
– You wouldn’t believe the number of times she changed the paint color. First, she said it looked perfect and the crew was ready to leave. Then she runs out and says, “It’s a bit too pale, we need another coat with a touch of yellow to brighten it up.” And then she says….

Kathy realized he needed more than listening. When he had finally finished, Kathy hugged him, not noticing the smell of the paint. Calvin’s body and face relaxed. He looked down and said, “I love your hair. It sure is shiny today.”

The Road to Power Snuggling
Touching almost always works. A warm touch releases oxytocin, a hormone that creates a sensation of trust. For months after we are born, most of the love we receive is through touch. Whether we are one day old or 100 years and a day, touch improves our mood and makes us feel loved.

Think back to the time you were held tenderly by your caregiver. Now think of your first experience of being held romantically. Then think of the first time you and your partner held each other. Each memory provides a feeling of warmth and safety.

Today you have the opportunity to continue using touch to bring you and your partner closer. It doesn’t need to be a hug or a kiss. Merely a touch on the shoulder permeates one’s nervous system. It’s simple and it works! Studies have shown that touch can reduce blood pressure and the heart rate, diminish depression, ease pain, and reduce anxiety. One study showed that a sympathetic touch from a doctor left people with the impression that their doctor’s visit lasted twice as long as it did! At DePauw University, Matthew Hertenstein had volunteers touch a blindfolded stranger. By only touching they were able to communicate eight different emotions including gratitude, disgust and love, with 70% accuracy. If this works with blindfolded strangers, imagine how easy it would be to communicate love to your partner through touch without blindfolds.

Your Weekly Homework Think of the benefits of empathic touch. At various times this week take the opportunity to touch or hug your partner bringing you closer together.