Getting high on love

When we exercise, major physiological changes occur in our body. We jog in the park and see beautiful trees; we hear chirping and smell spring enveloping us. Jogging releases endorphins in our head and our muscles carry us forward as if on automatic pilot. We have learned that regular exercise strengthens our bones, improves our heart efficiency and promotes growth of our muscles in the areas where we put the most effort.

Wouldn’t it be great if we were able to add neuron love cells to the 100 billion cells in our brain and strengthen our love in the same way? Wouldn’t it be great if we could add “muscles” to the loving area of our brain?

For decades, scientists believed our brains changed little after adulthood. However, recent brain scanning technology shows our brain changes dramatically with behavior changes! New behavior adds brain neurons in the same way physical exercise develops muscles. In each case blood is pumped into the areas most used. Loving behavior adds neurons to our brain’s amygdala area creating a feeling of well-being; whereas, the neurons associated with anger are produced in an entirely different part of the brain (abbreviated as dACC) adding stress.

How London cab drivers help us understand our brain’s role in relationships
When London cabdrivers’ brains were scanned, their brain’s spatial relations area grew proportionately to the number of miles they drove on London streets. When they retired from driving, their brain’s spatial relations area shrunk.

The Road to Power Snuggling
What do these experiments mean for you? If you increase loving behavior you are making a physical change in your brain by expanding your “feel-good” neurons and shrinking your stress neurons. At the same time, as your partner experiences your positive interaction, they will also enjoy a boost in “feel good” neurons.

Your weekly homework
Discuss these ideas with your spouse. Strive to add tens of thousands of “feel good” cells to your relationship. See other posts to help.