Try this as a guide:

The area labeled Joint Decisions is required for major decisions such as where to live and which house to buy, how many children to have and how to raise them, and decisions on large expenditures. You also need to decide jointly on dozens of other less important decisions like what friends to see together and where to dine.

Pat and Chris’ areas are reserved for their individual decisions and include where they want to work, what to eat, wear or read, their choices of hobbies and classes, what toothpaste to use, and their personal methods of performing certain tasks such as washing dishes or mowing the lawn.

Conflicts arise when one partner continually tries to make a decision for the other in the individual decision area.

For example you may hear:
Pat: “Chris, that shirt doesn’t work at all. It clashes with your blue socks.”
Chris: “Nobody’s going to look at my socks. Besides I love this shirt!”
Later at the party, Pat whispers, “Even though they’re strawberries, the chocolate dipping has lots of calories.”
Chris later complains, “I wish you wouldn’t tell me what to wear and what to eat. That’s my business.”
Pat: “I’m only trying to help you look nice and I care very much about your health.”

The Road to Power Snuggling
Conflict can be avoided by agreeing to enter the other’s individual circle only when advice is specifically requested. We now hear you saying, “But, I only want my partner to be happy and they need protection.”
And we say, “Stop! Chances are you’ve told your partner many times to stop eating fatty foods or to load the dishwasher differently or, or, ….. or. They know your concerns. Concentrate on those decisions in the joint area and stay out of their circles unless advice is requested.”

It’s okay for Pat to occasionally warn Chris of overeating or wearing the right clothes, but not repetitively, not every day or even every week.

Caution regarding joint decisions
When one partner regularly delegates joint decisions to the other, it shouldn’t be because the other has given up and is afraid of an argument. In most cases each partner should provide input and listen to the other’s feelings before a decision is made.

Your weekly homework
Think of the decisions you have made together that have turned out well and the process you used. Try to continue that process. Think of conflicts which occurred when one spouse regularly entered the other’s area. In the future, working to avoid each other’s circle of control will reduce resentment in your relationship.