Comments received, week ending 9-6-10

1. It’s huge, asking my partner to listen to me. But I’ve learned from you how critical timing can be. When she’s relaxed and receptive it makes all the difference!

2. We seem to fight a lot about who’s “right.” How do we break the cycle?

J&B: Start by listening carefully to your partner’s point of view and validate them even though you don’t agree. You can say, “From your point of view it makes sense you would feel that way because ….” Then ask if they will listen to your side. Unless the question is strictly factual,  you might both be right due to your differing values. Over time, understanding each other’s point of view tones down the arguing.

3. Beverly and Jon … Congratulations on such a well written, interesting, innovative advice column! It amazes me that week after week you are able to come up with so many different approaches and ideas for enhancing a relationship.  And guess what, they work! Thank you!!!